One Story

She was in her early thirties when she came to me about teaching English in Spain. She didn't have close to the money. She'd been deciding for two years. I thought she was looking for validation that moving abroad and teaching was not right for her.

That wasn't the validation I gave her. She gave away almost everything she owned and went — leaving behind a job that had stopped going anywhere and a heaviness she was hoping a new country might lift.

Spain delivered. Cheaper bills, better food, and the small daily victory of teaching, and of holding her own in the staff room, in a language she was still learning. When we checked in on her at five months, she told us the anxiety had eased. The heaviness had come along in the luggage. She'd go out with friends, have a good night, and then not leave her apartment for two days.

Here's the part I've never forgotten. She didn't book a flight home, nor a teaching job in yet another new country. She finally realized she had been running the same experiment her whole adult life — new city, new job, new start — and Spain was the first place far enough away for her to see the pattern. So she cut her hours at school, kept asking for help, and started building a week that left room for the bad days instead of pretending they wouldn't come.

What happened to her? She met someone through a colleague at school. They married; she became a mother. She's still in Spain — which is the part that matters, because for the first time she stayed.

Fifty years of watching people cross borders has taught me that a new country changes the scenery. It cannot unpack your suitcase for you.

One Step

If any part of your wellbeing runs on prescriptions or a therapist, that care does not automatically cross borders with you. Medication routines at home can be restricted or outright illegal at your destination — this catches Americans, Britons, Australians and Canadians equally, and the rules are set by where you're going, not where you're from. Your therapist generally can't treat you across international lines, and insurance rarely follows. None of this is a reason to stay — it's a reason to plan: talk to your prescriber before you book anything, carry documentation, and identify a local provider in your first month, not your worst one.

One Question

If you moved tomorrow, what would be in the suitcase — and what are you hoping distance will do that you haven't yet asked of yourself?

— Randy

I've spent 50+ years in international education and cultural exchange — a front-row seat to people changing careers, countries, and lives. If you're putting together a panel, a podcast, or a story and want a voice from the field, just reply. Replies come straight to me, and I read every one.